Thursday, December 24, 2009
Happy Nondenominational Winter Solstice and Gregorian New Year!
But this year is different. We as the Conclave are launching off into the new Decade. Away from a decade of ignorance, war, poverty, and angry wealthy urban middle class yelling at the government of taking over their lives and at the same time demanding that it fix their lazy, incompetent lives. As we sit around with our blood relatives and creepily close friends and partake in the last ceremony of perpetual gluttony of the decade, let us remind ourselves of what we have to be thankful for. And if you have nothing to be thankful for, be content that you have your dignity. And if you don't even have that, you can be thankful for your soul. And if you have lost that too (perhaps by going to China; see here) then be thankful that nature and the Omniverse have given you some kind of carbon molecular structure to allow you to exist at least as a figment of your own imagination.
So as we sit around watching a clock for 3 hours in order to celebrate one second, as each second goes by let our resolve get stronger. Brethren, let us be unstoppable in the new Decade to free the poor souls who have lost their way in the dark forest of ignorance. Let us be their evening star leading the way to a path of glowing candles that will guide them to Enlightenment. This is the gift the Conclave brings. What can you bring?
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Let Democracy Reign Free!!!!!!!
If true democracy means power to all people, then how dare the government prevent the the extension of suffrage to those under 18. It is outright ageist. Teenagers and fetuses are both living human being that, according the Institute of Natural Rights, "have been bestowed with the same natural rights of adults". They deserve to vote even though people claim that they lack such unimportant, trivial qualities like "experience" and "wisdom".
In addition, why do we have imprisonment laws for "harmful" drugs like marijuana or cocaine. It was all Reagan's plan to "maintain morality" and destroy our rights. If it makes me happy to get go on an unending unnatural acid trip to kill my soul, then let me be. What kind of government is arrogant enough to say that it can govern and protect it's people.
Power to the People and as Voltaire said "Erascez l'enfame" or "crush the infamous thing".
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
America: Infected With the Mark of the Beast
In late January of 2009 a study done by the Institute of All Things Biblical warned that; "America has been marked with the Devil's Mark, the Mark of the Beast: 666." The study continued by saying that; "When our archaeological dig teams were excavating a site around Washington DC they came across a massive beast mark that had been burned into the very ground. It read '666' and had a crude etching of what seemed to be Barrack Obama beneath it."
When the Obama Administration was informed they responded rather oddly stating that; “We would rather not comment at this time.” The United States government on all levels remained quiet with this monumental discovery. The question now is, how are the American people going to handle this? One answer remains in possibly our last real hope: The Westboro Baptist Church.
When the Westboro Baptist Church was informed they only responded by saying; “We told you so.” But luckily Fred Phelps, the leader of the church, stated that he is willing to assist in the fight against the Evil that is about to ensue. When Fred Phelps was informed he stated; “I will stop at nothing to rid this world of the Evil America. God will smite humanity and my church will emerge victorious!” Though we have no idea what he plans to do to help save the world from the Evil lurking beneath our surface, we trust that his sense of judgment will be what’s best for our nation. However, Phelps and his small cult of “good-doers” plan to protest outside of the digging site, hoping to rid what evil resides on the continent.
Further evidence suggests that even the Westboro Baptist Church cannot do what needs to be done. According to Reverend Paul Q. Fordham, minister and cofounder of the East Wood Baptist Church, believes that it is time to repent or be sacrificed; “It is obvious that everyone needs to repent, and those who don’t repent must be sacrificed on a slab of limestone in the middle of our church’s alter. Until we have purged the entire American population, we will never be safe.” Fred Phelps openly agreed with Reverend Fordham by placing a gigantic sign on the front of his church that depicted his church members cannibalizing adulterers and sinners. Although enthusiastic about their idea, there is no clear plan of how they will fund their purges. Until then, Man’s future seems bleak.
Also, the Obama Administration has been openly chastising the two Baptist Churches for quite some time now, claiming that; “These religious fanatics have nothing better to do than fabricate elaborate stories to assert their authority in rural Kansas, it’s obvious cow-tipping has lost its luster.” (Kansas is where the Westboro Baptist Church is located)
It is apparent that the Obama Administration is trying to cover something up. The Mark of the Beast has been burned on American soil, now it’s payback time.
Monday, December 21, 2009
China's Plan to Take over the World
So what is the Communist government planning to do with this exponential growth of people?Utilize them and take over the world so that they have a place to put them. It is apparent that this plan is already in motion. In almost every school in the nation, Chinese budlings have established the stereotype of being "smart" and have risen to the top rank of every school. Education control: check. In businesses and corporations, the Chinese have established the reputation of being paranoid perfectionists and have succeeded in taking head positions in corporations. Business control: check. The horrendous driving of the Chinese has caused the death of countless unsuspecting Americans. Population control: check. And to top it all off, President (Chairman) Obama as a communist, socialist leader, as discovered by the astute, smart rightist saviors, has appointed Steven Chu as the Secretary of "Energy"(aka World Domination). Government control: check.
The Russians, as explained below are the brawn of this Chinese takeover. They will invade and conquer America while Steven, with the help of the Russians, will destroy the line of succession, the Houses of Congress and become the President/Chairman of the new Commune of America. The Russians will then be dealt with accordingly (thrown into hell... probably somewhere in Detroit). With the combined economic might and military power of the Commune of America with China, the world will be defenseless as one by one, the countries of the world are absorbed into the Commune.
Welcome to Utopia! Long Live Chairman Chu! Long Live the Motherland!
Thou hast been warned and heed this warning carefully. For as Sun Tzu said "When the warning of the enemy is as clear as the blue sky, follow it well or you will be fated to end up in Detroit".
Russia's Plan To Invade the United States: RED ALERT
Below is part of the New USSR attack plan (Translation is NEEDED)
"Мы идем вторгнуться ваша жалостливая маленькая страна и повиснуться капиталисты для их злодеяний против мати Россия! Опасайтесь коммунистическая армия! Красная Армия мира! Мы идем задавить вас! Толкотня! Толкотня! Толкотня! Победа для Marx и Ленин! Во первых мы идем вторгнуться ваше country' хозяйственные s главные и воинские артерии, на Айова и Монтана! Вы тупоумные американцы никогда не будете видеть, что оно пришло! После этого мы съедим ваших детей и ваших любимчиков! И используйте ваших женщин для того чтобы вспахать наши поля! Длиной живет мать Россия! Длиной живет новое СССР! Новая советская республика! Ahhhhhhhhh. Если вы кладете время в переводить это, то вы имеете теперь жизнь."
The Red Army has been mobilized. There is also substantial evidence that the Chinese are in cahoots with the New Soviets. Victory must be ours.
If you have any information on this topic your help is needed. God Bless the USA.
Uncle Sam needs you! The Conclave needs you! Freedom is ours!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Confessions of a Congressman: New Military Uniforms
WHEREAS: Muslims are generally afraid of homosexuals, particularly the radical ones which are the most dangerous of all
WHEREAS: According to the Holy Koran; "There is nothing a radical Muslim fears more than a Gay with a gun
Friday, December 18, 2009
Lesbonon: A Country Without A Man
According to Dr. Yo Mather, esteemed professor of socio-political analysis at the University of Georgia on December 11, 2009; “Lebanon’s growing population has become somewhat of surprise because the women are starting to outnumber the men. This was noticed in November when margin between men and women grew from a small 3% difference to 92%. Lebanon’s population now consists mostly of women.”
Yosef Ibrahim, one of the last Lebanese men, describes the odd occurrences in his homeland;
“I woke up one morning to find that my five boys were gone, nowhere to be found. I searched and I searched, and after much searching I realized that all of the men were gone! Only a few were left, and like me, they were searching for their boys too! We have no idea where the men are in our society! Even Hezbollah no longer has men filling its ranks. Now they fly a banner of rainbow AK-47’s shooting flowers…”
This also gave rise to the question of whether or not the country’s name should be changed to “Lesbonon” because homosexuality is now rampant in the once predominantly Muslim area. This also gave rise to the question of whether or not the once intimidating terrorist group Hezbollah (which translates to “Party of God”) should change its name to “Lesbollah” (which translates to “Women In Love”).
Further research is needed, but it is clear the Lesbonon will be a force to be reckoned with. And as for Lesbollah, governments in the region are not sure how to respond. Though, the Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad responded in outrage stating that; “I cannot believe I just wrote a check for $700,000,000 to a bunch of Infidels…”
The future is uncertain in the region, but one thing is certain; the Lesbonese will be the pioneers of the Middle-East.
Concerning The Stock Market
The Rise of China?
Even though they may have economic and military might, there is one thing that China lacks and which America dominates: Faith. The concentration of athiests within the country has created a secular, humanist Black Hole that sucks the souls out of all that step into that country (see above diagram)- one of the main reasons that Communism was so successful. All seen "conversions" to Christianity or other repectable faiths have been Communist propoganda in order to decieve the world into thinking China has any sense of morality or virtue. This has caused China to have weaker morale and divine rights than the United States. This is what will always make China subservient to the United States. Know these "facts", do you still think China will maybe one day overtake the United States? Or shall the United States forevermore be the leader of the Omniverse as we know it?
Thursday, December 17, 2009
Call to Duty: Help Achieve Purity of Language
Seeing that the language of American, also known as English, is the most prevalent language in the world, many countries have tried to adopt it to signify their acceptance of the United States as their overlord. However, by doing so they have succeeded in butchering English to the extent that rappers have butchered it (u git wat im sayin my fly, homedawg skillit yo. Say what?! Get low!). And just because they "no spreken ze Engrish more gooder" is no excuse for destroying the very foundation of the elite American culture that has consumed the world. In fact, American English is so elite, that we don't even allow the United States to make it its official language.
My Brethren, as Enlightened harbingers of purity, let us move to destroy all of those that seek to undermine the beauty of a language that God himself speaks (the Bible is in English, duh). Let us purge the world of things written in indecipherable formats (especially rap songs). Only then can we, as the Conclave, hope to achieve our mission from the Omniverse to lift the public out of ignorance and into the light. Please Brethren, post your suggestions and methods so we can once again achieve Purity of Language.
Healthcare: A Conservative's Plea For Justice
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
Resolution to Ban Santa Claus
A RESOLUTION TO BAN SANTA CLAUSE FROM ALL HOUSEHOLDS IN THE WORLD
Whereas: Santa Claus has devalued the meaning of the holidays from spiritual gratification to a material gratification,
Whereas: Santa Claus “sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake” and “knows if you’ve been bad or good”, he stalks and creeps on minors by offering what they want for Christmas,
Whereas: Santa Claus “is making a list and checking twice”, Santa Clause arbitrarily judges people as unjustly and unfairly as a tyrant,
Whereas: Santa Claus discriminates by religion and ideology only giving presents to Christians and those who believe in him,
Whereas: Santa Claus therefore discriminates against all adults by not giving adults presents, forcing adults to buy presents for themselves,
Whereas: Santa Claus discriminates between children giving some children better, more expensive items than others,
Whereas: Due to the heavy air-traffic during the holidays, Santa’s sleigh and flying reindeer pose a danger and threat to commercial airplanes, endangering lives,
Whereas: There have been reports and complaints about roof and chimney damages occurring over the holidays,
Whereas: Santa Claus has been in clear violation of unlawful entry, trespassing on personal property without the formal consent of the owners,
Whereas: Santa Claus steals and eats food items left laying around the house or hung on a tree,
Whereas: Santa Claus employs the use of slave labor, enslaving the elves inflicted with a genetic disability for dwarfism
Whereas: For all we know, the living and working conditions of these elves could be worse than those seen in sweatshops around the world, seeing that their work station is located in the Arctic, a place with some the harshest weather and living conditions in the world.
Whereas: Santa Claus has been on the run for thousands of years and is in hiding all year round except for the evening of the 24th day of December,
Whereas: Santa Claus has continually thwarted attempts by all people to see and/or capture him,
Be It Resolved: That Santa Claus be banned from all households in the world,
Be It Further Resolved: That Claus’s sweatshop and estate in the
Confessions of a Congressman: A Practical Proposal
Let it be resolved that: On the day of Superbowl hold crucifixions of convicted felons on steel crosses, upside down on the 50 yard line. This will not only cause a dramatic rise in our economic stability, but it will also make executions much less expensive.
Confessions Of a Congressman: Legalizing Prostitution
But so we can retain some semblance of morality, Mahatma Gandhi states “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Enough said.
Conclave Debate: Poverty v Climate Change
Youtube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Confessions of a Congressman: Gay Rights
In fact this issue is even more devastating than previously thought. When I did some more research on the Internet (which is super-modernized plumbing) more skeletons jumped out of the closet. According to a reliable Internet source, during the Cold War, the Soviets were experimenting with "Fringe" sciences in order to get ahead of the United State's far superior technology. One of the Fringe sciences was genetic modification and one gene they were trying to perfect was homosexuality. Once the Soviet Union started to crumble, the number of hard-core Soviets decreased and the number of homosexuals "coming out" increased. Obviously, these Soviets bent and became gays; gays on a mission to tear apart the fabric of American society. These gay communists have been using this same Cold War technology to "encourage the coming out" of more gays.
Ladies and gentlemen, our greatest fear has become reality: gay communists with leftist agendas. We must stop this pink menace from infecting us all. And remember, as our covenant with God reminds us, "rainbows are God's way of frowning at gays".
-Congressman of the Imperial Senate
Confessions of a Congressman: Palestinian Statehood
The Existence of Other Life
Do We Really Exist?
Where Doth The Tree Of Knowledge Lay?
Who Knows What Evil Lurks In The Hearts Of Man?
Prepare for intellectual stimulation.
Our Voyage Into Knowledge Commences
In this world knowledge is power and power is at your fingertips.
The place where Knowledge combats ignorance. Where Enlightenment shines its rays on the people of this Earth. Where the ends justify the means. Where reality meets justice.
Feel free to discuss topics as you wish (if you dare stand to see the Light). Keep it clean (or you will be blinded by the Light).