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Monday, December 21, 2009

China's Plan to Take over the World

Little known fact: there are a lot of Chinese people. Also a little known fact: this is due mainly to the fact that Chinese people reproduce asexually through buds. That is why even though China has 20% more men than women and also has the "One Child Policy" they are able to produce Chinese people at an exponential rate like sweatshops producing more lead filled toys even after the toys were recalled.

So what is the Communist government planning to do with this exponential growth of people?Utilize them and take over the world so that they have a place to put them. It is apparent that this plan is already in motion. In almost every school in the nation, Chinese budlings have established the stereotype of being "smart" and have risen to the top rank of every school. Education control: check. In businesses and corporations, the Chinese have established the reputation of being paranoid perfectionists and have succeeded in taking head positions in corporations. Business control: check. The horrendous driving of the Chinese has caused the death of countless unsuspecting Americans. Population control: check. And to top it all off, President (Chairman) Obama as a communist, socialist leader, as discovered by the astute, smart rightist saviors, has appointed Steven Chu as the Secretary of "Energy"(aka World Domination). Government control: check.
The Russians, as explained below are the brawn of this Chinese takeover. They will invade and conquer America while Steven, with the help of the Russians, will destroy the line of succession, the Houses of Congress and become the President/Chairman of the new Commune of America. The Russians will then be dealt with accordingly (thrown into hell... probably somewhere in Detroit). With the combined economic might and military power of the Commune of America with China, the world will be defenseless as one by one, the countries of the world are absorbed into the Commune.

Welcome to Utopia! Long Live Chairman Chu! Long Live the Motherland!

Thou hast been warned and heed this warning carefully. For as Sun Tzu said "When the warning of the enemy is as clear as the blue sky, follow it well or you will be fated to end up in Detroit".


  1. Thay lak wun thing: linguistic control. Sew long az wii halve that, thei wil nevir triumf.

  2. I think I remember that specific quote from the Art of War. A telling article indeed.

  3. Hell is certainly somewhere around Detroit.

  4. Nice piece guys, and it hits all the right spots too - reminds me of the verbiage spilling forth from this latest batch of clowns: