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Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Return from the Chinaland created by Mickey Maose Dong

Hiya Kids! Welcome the Mickey Maose Dong's Club House where all the fun under the red sun. So sit up straight, grab your little red book, and get ready for today's special propaganda indoctrination. (Skip to 1:00 for the fun or watch the whole thing)

I recently returned back from China and had a chance to reflect on all that happened for I was unable to do so there lest the Communist government reclaim my brain. I confirmed some beliefs I held while disproving off others. I confirmed that Chinese are physically and mentally unable to stand in a cue without the psychopathic need to trample someone. I confirmed that the Chinese will eat anything that moves. But most importantly, I confirmed that the Chinese are the best at writing English. Note the following examples I acquired:

Do you see it? Huh? Do you? Because I see it!
And the one belief I completely disproved was that Chinese are atheists. What religion you might ask? Consumerist Buddhism. As in the Chinese government blesses the construction of modern Buddhist temples for Chinese citizens to "check out". Comrades are sequestered into a room with a monk/salesman/conman who tries to convince you that if you don't buy a thousand dollar rock and put it in your home, you will be a poor, unemployed, impotent in 10 years. And in order to worship Buddha, you need a 100 dollar incense in opium flavor (and you thought the British stopped doing that... hahaha).
From a Christian point of view, there is only one Chingrish trash can that can summarize China's new faith:

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