All material posted here is either satirical or sarcastic. But serious material may be posted as well. Enlighten yourself to the facts if in doubt, Brethren.


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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Google: Real World Skynet?

Faithful members of the Conclave may have noticed the sudden disappearance of the advertisements on the blog site… This is due to the brazen tyranny imposed upon the good people of the world by an Evil but powerful organization: Google.
My brethren, it is impossible to deny the fact that we have all, the whole world, has become reliant on Google’s Search Engine. A search engine that is fast, efficient, smooth, and impressive. Beneath its deceptive exterior there lies a crouching tiger next to a hidden dragon, waiting to strike at the vulnerable people of the world. Humanity as we know it is in grave danger.
The first question that must be answered is: How is Google able to deliever “information” with such a swift hand?
The answer is: that they have stolen vast herds of young children and are now using them for slave labor. According to Dr. Vince F. Kiltstein; “Google has developed a giant hamster-wheel that millions of children are forced to run in to power their Search Engine and provide it with its speed… Google is out to harm and enslave our children… we cannot sit around and wait any longer….”
Also, it must be known that the information being produced by Google’s slaves is not even information, just useless rubbish to keep a populous pacified. Well the Conclave will never be pacified! Never will Truth, Justice, and the Way of the Conclave vanish from this Earth.
The na├»ve people of this world claim that the people who run Google could never possibly accomplish such a task, well they’re wrong. Dead wrong.
Google is currently snatching children from their beds while they sleep with technologically advanced T-0903112 Children Capturers. It would also be appropriate to address the fact that people are no longer in control of Google. It is the Machines that have true control. The leaders of Google are in reality either dead or in the giant hamster-wheel. The wheel’s exact location is unknown, but satellite imagery indicates it is located near the core of the Earth, thousands of feet under the Earth’s crust.
More disturbingly, Google has created a vast army of T-X2’s much more powerful and heavily armed than the T-0903112 Children Capturers. Humanity is at the brink of war and we don’t even know it yet. They are lead by a perverse Hivemind that is believed to be located somewhere beneath the hamster-ball, an autonomous being destined to wipe out mankind.

Google has become the World's real Skynet.
Luckily the Conclave knows. Luckily the Conclave of Knowledge will stand strong in these dark times. Ignorance must fall. It will fall. And as pure reason and common sense dictate, so will Google.
Down with Google! Up with Freedom!