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Monday, December 21, 2009

Russia's Plan To Invade the United States: RED ALERT

My fellow Americans, the Russians plan to attack! Yes! The Russians. Who could have ever guessed! When a recent telegraph was intercepted by the NSA it was apparent that the Communist threat was very much alive. This is only an excerpt, unfortunately we have no idea what it means because our own government thought the Russians had been defeated. They were wrong. Dead Wrong. America calls upon you!

Below is part of the New USSR attack plan (Translation is NEEDED)

"Мы идем вторгнуться ваша жалостливая маленькая страна и повиснуться капиталисты для их злодеяний против мати Россия! Опасайтесь коммунистическая армия! Красная Армия мира! Мы идем задавить вас! Толкотня! Толкотня! Толкотня! Победа для Marx и Ленин! Во первых мы идем вторгнуться ваше country' хозяйственные s главные и воинские артерии, на Айова и Монтана! Вы тупоумные американцы никогда не будете видеть, что оно пришло! После этого мы съедим ваших детей и ваших любимчиков! И используйте ваших женщин для того чтобы вспахать наши поля! Длиной живет мать Россия! Длиной живет новое СССР! Новая советская республика! Ahhhhhhhhh. Если вы кладете время в переводить это, то вы имеете теперь жизнь."

The Red Army has been mobilized. There is also substantial evidence that the Chinese are in cahoots with the New Soviets. Victory must be ours.

If you have any information on this topic your help is needed. God Bless the USA.

Uncle Sam needs you! The Conclave needs you! Freedom is ours!


  1. Wait. So if I had the time to translate it, I do have a life? That's comforting.

  2. Arise! All who refuse to be slaves!
    Let our flesh and blood become our new Great Wall!
    As the Chinese nation faces its greatest peril,
    All forcefully expend their last cries.
    Arise! Arise! Arise!
    Our million hearts beat as one,
    Brave the enemy's fire, march on!
    Brave the enemy's fire, march on!
    March on! March on! On!

  3. The translation goes something like this


    " Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. We go to intrude your compassionate small pickle and to be hung capitalists for their lemon deeds against мати Russia! Be afraid communistic army! Red Army of the world! We go to knock down you! Толкотня! Толкотня! Толкотня! A victory for Marx and Lenin! We go to the first to ten yours country ' economic s the main and military arteries, on Iowa and Montana! You stupid Americans will never see, that chai tea has come! Pin that we shall eat your children and your favourites! Also use your women to smell our fields! In the length who lives mother Russia! In the bank there lives the new USSR! New Soviet defeat! Ahhhhhhhhh. If you put time in to translate it you have now a centipede. "

  4. I was thinking about translating it.. glad that I was bored enough to figure out that google translate uses the same codex for both Belorussian and Russian?

  5. that. is. really. bad. russian. grammar. X.X