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Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The State of the Conclave

Overlord Zhu, Overlord Bochicchio, Brethren of the Conclave, Distinguished Intellectuals, and Ignorant Public.
For a while we have not enlightened you all to the State of the Conclave. We have been recovering from the recent attack of Google's T-0903112 Children Capturers and T-X2s, Google's recent shut down of the Conclave propaganda machine (AdSense), and the logical fallacy pointed out by Kelsey Steele. Yet, we still prosper and move forward with our duty and responsibility to carry the torch of enlightenment to those who are still shrouded in darkness.

As for the United States, the State of the Union is... poor.
With the loss of the Democratic Senate supermajority, there is now only a measly, stupid majority in the Senate which means nothing can get done. Because everyone knows that when you take a majority rules vote, you get to double the number of hands put up by the losing side. Plus, 59 is less than 50 when you go to D.C.
Moreover, there has been an explosion of "letter-words" in our union. N-word, R-word, and O-word (for Obama... oops, now we are all going to burn in hell or slip into the great abyss of our own imaginations). The Conclave wonders why these f-word-ing b-words are arguing about r-word wordplay when they cannot even f-word-ing get a mother f-word-ing thing done. Maybe if the Senate passed a law that legalized the possession of "letter-words", then we can call people retards and get on with our day.
And the economy. There are no jobs. The popular job of Harvard graduates is McDonald urinal cleaner PhD. Moreover, America as a whole had sunk into a psychological depression that can now only be measured in astronomical units. Let us just state that the average American is so downtrodden that most could be on a cocktail of happy potions and still manage to infect a rainbow and turn it into a brownish, crappy looking turd. Congrats everyone!
Yet there is hope to be found over the ugly rainbow. Our sanity is shaken but still present to do something crazy. Our hearts remain with us until we give it away to be chewed up and spit out on Valentines Day. And above all, the Conclave is coming back and strong to help keep everyone out of their daily life of ignorance and glorious atrophy. So the Conclave demands: GO F-WORD-ING DO SOMETHING!!!