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Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Confessions of a Congressman: A Practical Proposal

As an upstanding congressman in the Imperial Senate, I hereby propose that as a remedy for the current economic downturn and to add a little bit of spice to television entertainment that it be resolved: That Capital Punishment should be expanded upon and implemented in every state and territory under control by the United States of America.

WHEREAS: Capital Punishment is not the most popular topic in our country today and popular opinion needs to be swayed in favor of nationwide implementation.

WHEREAS: The United States steel industry is floundering and in need of a boost. And the American unemployment rate must be lowered from where it currently stands, increased steel plants to employ those in need of work.

WHEREAS: The Superbowl is the most viewed television event in the United States of America. More goods and products are consumed and used by consumers due to this national event

Let it be resolved that: On the day of Superbowl hold crucifixions of convicted felons on steel crosses, upside down on the 50 yard line. This will not only cause a dramatic rise in our economic stability, but it will also make executions much less expensive.

- Congressman of the Imperial Senate


  1. why? please explain more why this should happen?

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. upside down is a bad idea. they could gain sustenance by eating grass and thus live longer.

    Unless, of course, it were an Astroturf stadium...