Lesbonon: A Country Without A Man

Lebanon has fallen out of the media since their borders were penetrated by Israeli tanks and military operatives. This highly debated issue garnered much attention because people didn't understand why the Lebanese population was not in favor of such actions taken by the Israeli government. After all Lebanon is home to the radical group Hezbollah, a group thought to be so deadly that even the Israelis won’t mess with them. However, after recent events it is clear that Lebanon will be reappearing on every news network. Careful analysis and examination show that Lebanon and Hezbollah no longer pose a threat to the modern world and will be looked at as the world’s greatest culmination of Far-Leftist organizations.

According to Dr. Yo Mather, esteemed professor of socio-political analysis at the University of Georgia on December 11, 2009; “Lebanon’s growing population has become somewhat of surprise because the women are starting to outnumber the men. This was noticed in November when margin between men and women grew from a small 3% difference to 92%. Lebanon’s population now consists mostly of women.”

Yosef Ibrahim, one of the last Lebanese men, describes the odd occurrences in his homeland;
“I woke up one morning to find that my five boys were gone, nowhere to be found. I searched and I searched, and after much searching I realized that all of the men were gone! Only a few were left, and like me, they were searching for their boys too! We have no idea where the men are in our society! Even Hezbollah no longer has men filling its ranks. Now they fly a banner of rainbow AK-47’s shooting flowers…”

This also gave rise to the question of whether or not the country’s name should be changed to “Lesbonon” because homosexuality is now rampant in the once predominantly Muslim area. This also gave rise to the question of whether or not the once intimidating terrorist group Hezbollah (which translates to “Party of God”) should change its name to “Lesbollah” (which translates to “Women In Love”).

Further research is needed, but it is clear the Lesbonon will be a force to be reckoned with. And as for Lesbollah, governments in the region are not sure how to respond. Though, the Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad responded in outrage stating that; “I cannot believe I just wrote a check for $700,000,000 to a bunch of Infidels…”

The future is uncertain in the region, but one thing is certain; the Lesbonese will be the pioneers of the Middle-East.