WARNING: Destruction of the American Dream Approaching

Think back to the good old days when the American Dream was well alive. It seemed back then that everything was free. Free women, free love, and free syphilis (now they have those damned "drugs" to take that away). The use of soft drugs was rampant and socially radical and psychadelic dude (but then they took away those "drugs" giving everyone syphilis again). But the most important gratis part of the American Dream were free homes. It seems that nowadays, houses now cost money. Back then, all we had to do with sign a couple of papers with no money in the bank and a house would magically be ours under a mortgage. Now, banks are asking us to "pay" for houses. Who has money saved when we are buying life necessary items like iPads, Snuggies, and bladeless fans? Mortgage giants Frannie Mae and Freddie Mac brewed a homeownership fetish by willing to offer their luxurious assets (houses) for no money upfront and only giving up your life and job in 30 years. I mean, just look at Freddie Macs' slogan.

And then we take it away with your dignity and soul as collateral.

Moreover, we used to make money from hard work in coal mines and suffering from emphysema and black lung. Now, we make money from nothing. Take mortgages for example, the mortgages no one pays. Geniuses on the Street of Wall took these worthless mortgages, bundled them together calling them mortgaged backed securities. They then bundled mortgaged backed securities together to call them Collateralized Debt Obligations. These twice wrapped turd burritos were then sold to the hungry, hungry hippo fat cats of the world for trillions upon trillions of dollars (a number only matched by the US national debt). And those geniuses made trillion upon trillions of dollars. In fact those geniuses still are living great lives with the public welcoming them into their gracious bosoms. Examples include the executives at AIG, Citigroup, and the king of the hill, everyone at Lehman Brothers. All hail the king.

The Power of Numbers

It seems that in a computer age, the need for numbers has been reduced to just 0s and 1s. I mean most teens these days only read in binary, texting in such a crude way. Like the following example:
0110100001101111011101110010000001110010001000000111010100100000011011010111100100100000011000100110011001100110001000000100101001101001011011000110110000100000010100100100111101000110010011000100110101000001010011110010111000100000011010010110110100100000011101000111010001101100011110010010000001100100011011110110100101101110001000000110111001110100011010010110111001100111001000000111001001101001011101000110010100100000011011100110111101110111001011100010000001110100011101000111100101101100
(Use this to translate: http://www.roubaixinteractive.com/PlayGround/Binary_Conversion/Binary_To_Text.asp)
But to many people, it comes as a surprise that numbers extend beyond the realm of two large numbers and represent/symbolize a multitude of events, ideas, and concepts. For instance, take the number 69. It represents a monumental feat of mankind. An achievement of such magnitude all quake due to its power. Of course everyone when they hear the number 69 thinks of the year when Neil Armstrong set foot upon the moon and declared that mankind had taken a leap (Silly man. If only he'd known nukes would would blow back to the stone age).

And this week, the magazine that controls weekly news, Newsweek, compiled a list ranking the Top 100 Countries of the World. Of course the United States came in double first place to take rank #11. Oh yeah baby! Only the US could take two first places. USA! USA! USA! Why the ranking you might ask. It's due to our wonderful education and healthcare systems, both ranked at an outstanding 26th. Healthcare has been socialized (Obamafied, Hitlerized, Glamorized, pimped out... pick whatever) so the socialists at Newsweek should change that soon (Newsweek put most of the European nations up front= socialist hub). On education, even Kazakhstan is in front of us. Meaning that if we all watch more Borat and learn, we would all gain a significant amount of IQ. Very nice! Or we could find a better way to make the education accountable for educating children by instituting and experimenting with other measurement techniques outside the grasp of the Collegeboard monopoly/trust. Or we could give more incentives to teachers to teach well through a merit pay system or some other pay system that rewards good teachers and punishes bad ones. But that all requires time, money, and especially thinking and education. Education requires a better education system. And a better education system requires watching more Borat.

Return from the Chinaland created by Mickey Maose Dong

Hiya Kids! Welcome the Mickey Maose Dong's Club House where all the fun under the red sun. So sit up straight, grab your little red book, and get ready for today's special propaganda indoctrination. (Skip to 1:00 for the fun or watch the whole thing)

I recently returned back from China and had a chance to reflect on all that happened for I was unable to do so there lest the Communist government reclaim my brain. I confirmed some beliefs I held while disproving off others. I confirmed that Chinese are physically and mentally unable to stand in a cue without the psychopathic need to trample someone. I confirmed that the Chinese will eat anything that moves. But most importantly, I confirmed that the Chinese are the best at writing English. Note the following examples I acquired:

Do you see it? Huh? Do you? Because I see it!
And the one belief I completely disproved was that Chinese are atheists. What religion you might ask? Consumerist Buddhism. As in the Chinese government blesses the construction of modern Buddhist temples for Chinese citizens to "check out". Comrades are sequestered into a room with a monk/salesman/conman who tries to convince you that if you don't buy a thousand dollar rock and put it in your home, you will be a poor, unemployed, impotent in 10 years. And in order to worship Buddha, you need a 100 dollar incense in opium flavor (and you thought the British stopped doing that... hahaha).
From a Christian point of view, there is only one Chingrish trash can that can summarize China's new faith:

The State of the Conclave

Overlord Zhu, Overlord Bochicchio, Brethren of the Conclave, Distinguished Intellectuals, and Ignorant Public.
For a while we have not enlightened you all to the State of the Conclave. We have been recovering from the recent attack of Google's T-0903112 Children Capturers and T-X2s, Google's recent shut down of the Conclave propaganda machine (AdSense), and the logical fallacy pointed out by Kelsey Steele. Yet, we still prosper and move forward with our duty and responsibility to carry the torch of enlightenment to those who are still shrouded in darkness.

As for the United States, the State of the Union is... poor.
With the loss of the Democratic Senate supermajority, there is now only a measly, stupid majority in the Senate which means nothing can get done. Because everyone knows that when you take a majority rules vote, you get to double the number of hands put up by the losing side. Plus, 59 is less than 50 when you go to D.C.
Moreover, there has been an explosion of "letter-words" in our union. N-word, R-word, and O-word (for Obama... oops, now we are all going to burn in hell or slip into the great abyss of our own imaginations). The Conclave wonders why these f-word-ing b-words are arguing about r-word wordplay when they cannot even f-word-ing get a mother f-word-ing thing done. Maybe if the Senate passed a law that legalized the possession of "letter-words", then we can call people retards and get on with our day.
And the economy. There are no jobs. The popular job of Harvard graduates is McDonald urinal cleaner PhD. Moreover, America as a whole had sunk into a psychological depression that can now only be measured in astronomical units. Let us just state that the average American is so downtrodden that most could be on a cocktail of happy potions and still manage to infect a rainbow and turn it into a brownish, crappy looking turd. Congrats everyone!
Yet there is hope to be found over the ugly rainbow. Our sanity is shaken but still present to do something crazy. Our hearts remain with us until we give it away to be chewed up and spit out on Valentines Day. And above all, the Conclave is coming back and strong to help keep everyone out of their daily life of ignorance and glorious atrophy. So the Conclave demands: GO F-WORD-ING DO SOMETHING!!!

Google: Real World Skynet?

Faithful members of the Conclave may have noticed the sudden disappearance of the advertisements on the blog site… This is due to the brazen tyranny imposed upon the good people of the world by an Evil but powerful organization: Google.
My brethren, it is impossible to deny the fact that we have all, the whole world, has become reliant on Google’s Search Engine. A search engine that is fast, efficient, smooth, and impressive. Beneath its deceptive exterior there lies a crouching tiger next to a hidden dragon, waiting to strike at the vulnerable people of the world. Humanity as we know it is in grave danger.
The first question that must be answered is: How is Google able to deliever “information” with such a swift hand?
The answer is: that they have stolen vast herds of young children and are now using them for slave labor. According to Dr. Vince F. Kiltstein; “Google has developed a giant hamster-wheel that millions of children are forced to run in to power their Search Engine and provide it with its speed… Google is out to harm and enslave our children… we cannot sit around and wait any longer….”
Also, it must be known that the information being produced by Google’s slaves is not even information, just useless rubbish to keep a populous pacified. Well the Conclave will never be pacified! Never will Truth, Justice, and the Way of the Conclave vanish from this Earth.
The naïve people of this world claim that the people who run Google could never possibly accomplish such a task, well they’re wrong. Dead wrong.

Google is currently snatching children from their beds while they sleep with technologically advanced T-0903112 Children Capturers. It would also be appropriate to address the fact that people are no longer in control of Google. It is the Machines that have true control. The leaders of Google are in reality either dead or in the giant hamster-wheel. The wheel’s exact location is unknown, but satellite imagery indicates it is located near the core of the Earth, thousands of feet under the Earth’s crust.
More disturbingly, Google has created a vast army of T-X2’s much more powerful and heavily armed than the T-0903112 Children Capturers. Humanity is at the brink of war and we don’t even know it yet. They are lead by a perverse Hivemind that is believed to be located somewhere beneath the hamster-ball, an autonomous being destined to wipe out mankind.

Google has become the World's real Skynet.
Luckily the Conclave knows. Luckily the Conclave of Knowledge will stand strong in these dark times. Ignorance must fall. It will fall. And as pure reason and common sense dictate, so will Google.
Down with Google! Up with Freedom!

Happy Nondenominational Winter Solstice and Gregorian New Year!

Whether you worship a single God this season or a motley of singing, dancing demi-gods of the 8th dimension of the Omniverse, the last months of the each year are filled with cheer and joy aimed at brainwashing us into having "good will to men" and perpetuating the tenants of Capitalism (such as spending money we don't have or buying someones affection). People get together to play games with spinning tops, candy canes, or flaming torches and create strong bonds that will be forgotten by the end of the night due to drunken stupor. It is a time when people can feel guilty enough to send cards to people they have purposely neglected. And a time when people feel arrogant enough to send picture holiday cards of themselves instead of their God(s) in an attempt to make people envy their superior lives.

But this year is different. We as the Conclave are launching off into the new Decade. Away from a decade of ignorance, war, poverty, and angry wealthy urban middle class yelling at the government of taking over their lives and at the same time demanding that it fix their lazy, incompetent lives. As we sit around with our blood relatives and creepily close friends and partake in the last ceremony of perpetual gluttony of the decade, let us remind ourselves of what we have to be thankful for. And if you have nothing to be thankful for, be content that you have your dignity. And if you don't even have that, you can be thankful for your soul. And if you have lost that too (perhaps by going to China; see here) then be thankful that nature and the Omniverse have given you some kind of carbon molecular structure to allow you to exist at least as a figment of your own imagination.

So as we sit around watching a clock for 3 hours in order to celebrate one second, as each second goes by let our resolve get stronger. Brethren, let us be unstoppable in the new Decade to free the poor souls who have lost their way in the dark forest of ignorance. Let us be their evening star leading the way to a path of glowing candles that will guide them to Enlightenment. This is the gift the Conclave brings. What can you bring?

Let Democracy Reign Free!!!!!!!

Brethren, for far too long have our natural rights been suppressed. For too long has our government deceived us into thinking we have such things as "voting rights" or "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness". The government has not done enough to ensure these rights and has even stolen some of them, one of which is property which was "replaced" with happiness. Everyone knows that property is far more valuable than fickle happiness. What kind of bigoted man had the guts to amke such a ridiculous, ignorant substitution.

If true democracy means power to all people, then how dare the government prevent the the extension of suffrage to those under 18. It is outright ageist. Teenagers and fetuses are both living human being that, according the Institute of Natural Rights, "have been bestowed with the same natural rights of adults". They deserve to vote even though people claim that they lack such unimportant, trivial qualities like "experience" and "wisdom".

In addition, why do we have imprisonment laws for "harmful" drugs like marijuana or cocaine. It was all Reagan's plan to "maintain morality" and destroy our rights. If it makes me happy to get go on an unending unnatural acid trip to kill my soul, then let me be. What kind of government is arrogant enough to say that it can govern and protect it's people.

Power to the People and as Voltaire said "Erascez l'enfame" or "crush the infamous thing".

America: Infected With the Mark of the Beast

Recently, a report was released stating that America has been stricken with the mark of the beast. This report along with a plethora of evidence supporting the fact that the End Of Days is near, it is a subject of utmost importance. It also means that an intricate system of Nuclear Attack Shelters must be constructed underground.

In late January of 2009 a study done by the Institute of All Things Biblical warned that; "America has been marked with the Devil's Mark, the Mark of the Beast: 666." The study continued by saying that; "When our archaeological dig teams were excavating a site around Washington DC they came across a massive beast mark that had been burned into the very ground. It read '666' and had a crude etching of what seemed to be Barrack Obama beneath it."

When the Obama Administration was informed they responded rather oddly stating that; “We would rather not comment at this time.” The United States government on all levels remained quiet with this monumental discovery. The question now is, how are the American people going to handle this? One answer remains in possibly our last real hope: The Westboro Baptist Church.

When the Westboro Baptist Church was informed they only responded by saying; “We told you so.” But luckily Fred Phelps, the leader of the church, stated that he is willing to assist in the fight against the Evil that is about to ensue. When Fred Phelps was informed he stated; “I will stop at nothing to rid this world of the Evil America. God will smite humanity and my church will emerge victorious!” Though we have no idea what he plans to do to help save the world from the Evil lurking beneath our surface, we trust that his sense of judgment will be what’s best for our nation. However, Phelps and his small cult of “good-doers” plan to protest outside of the digging site, hoping to rid what evil resides on the continent.

Further evidence suggests that even the Westboro Baptist Church cannot do what needs to be done. According to Reverend Paul Q. Fordham, minister and cofounder of the East Wood Baptist Church, believes that it is time to repent or be sacrificed; “It is obvious that everyone needs to repent, and those who don’t repent must be sacrificed on a slab of limestone in the middle of our church’s alter. Until we have purged the entire American population, we will never be safe.” Fred Phelps openly agreed with Reverend Fordham by placing a gigantic sign on the front of his church that depicted his church members cannibalizing adulterers and sinners. Although enthusiastic about their idea, there is no clear plan of how they will fund their purges. Until then, Man’s future seems bleak.

Also, the Obama Administration has been openly chastising the two Baptist Churches for quite some time now, claiming that; “These religious fanatics have nothing better to do than fabricate elaborate stories to assert their authority in rural Kansas, it’s obvious cow-tipping has lost its luster.” (Kansas is where the Westboro Baptist Church is located)

It is apparent that the Obama Administration is trying to cover something up. The Mark of the Beast has been burned on American soil, now it’s payback time.

China's Plan to Take over the World

Little known fact: there are a lot of Chinese people. Also a little known fact: this is due mainly to the fact that Chinese people reproduce asexually through buds. That is why even though China has 20% more men than women and also has the "One Child Policy" they are able to produce Chinese people at an exponential rate like sweatshops producing more lead filled toys even after the toys were recalled.

So what is the Communist government planning to do with this exponential growth of people?Utilize them and take over the world so that they have a place to put them. It is apparent that this plan is already in motion. In almost every school in the nation, Chinese budlings have established the stereotype of being "smart" and have risen to the top rank of every school. Education control: check. In businesses and corporations, the Chinese have established the reputation of being paranoid perfectionists and have succeeded in taking head positions in corporations. Business control: check. The horrendous driving of the Chinese has caused the death of countless unsuspecting Americans. Population control: check. And to top it all off, President (Chairman) Obama as a communist, socialist leader, as discovered by the astute, smart rightist saviors, has appointed Steven Chu as the Secretary of "Energy"(aka World Domination). Government control: check.
The Russians, as explained below are the brawn of this Chinese takeover. They will invade and conquer America while Steven, with the help of the Russians, will destroy the line of succession, the Houses of Congress and become the President/Chairman of the new Commune of America. The Russians will then be dealt with accordingly (thrown into hell... probably somewhere in Detroit). With the combined economic might and military power of the Commune of America with China, the world will be defenseless as one by one, the countries of the world are absorbed into the Commune.

Welcome to Utopia! Long Live Chairman Chu! Long Live the Motherland!

Thou hast been warned and heed this warning carefully. For as Sun Tzu said "When the warning of the enemy is as clear as the blue sky, follow it well or you will be fated to end up in Detroit".

Russia's Plan To Invade the United States: RED ALERT

My fellow Americans, the Russians plan to attack! Yes! The Russians. Who could have ever guessed! When a recent telegraph was intercepted by the NSA it was apparent that the Communist threat was very much alive. This is only an excerpt, unfortunately we have no idea what it means because our own government thought the Russians had been defeated. They were wrong. Dead Wrong. America calls upon you!

Below is part of the New USSR attack plan (Translation is NEEDED)

"Мы идем вторгнуться ваша жалостливая маленькая страна и повиснуться капиталисты для их злодеяний против мати Россия! Опасайтесь коммунистическая армия! Красная Армия мира! Мы идем задавить вас! Толкотня! Толкотня! Толкотня! Победа для Marx и Ленин! Во первых мы идем вторгнуться ваше country' хозяйственные s главные и воинские артерии, на Айова и Монтана! Вы тупоумные американцы никогда не будете видеть, что оно пришло! После этого мы съедим ваших детей и ваших любимчиков! И используйте ваших женщин для того чтобы вспахать наши поля! Длиной живет мать Россия! Длиной живет новое СССР! Новая советская республика! Ahhhhhhhhh. Если вы кладете время в переводить это, то вы имеете теперь жизнь."

The Red Army has been mobilized. There is also substantial evidence that the Chinese are in cahoots with the New Soviets. Victory must be ours.

If you have any information on this topic your help is needed. God Bless the USA.


Uncle Sam needs you! The Conclave needs you! Freedom is ours!

Confessions of a Congressman: New Military Uniforms

Representatives, I have in mind a proposal that will seem at first absurd, but in reality, will make the United States military machine unstoppable, and scarier than one could ever imagine. Let it be resolved here today that the United States military should make changes in their uniforms.

WHEREAS: The terrorist enemy is a force comprised of Muslim fanatics that are hellbent on destroying the Universe

WHEREAS: Their Holy Koran states that all homosexuals must be destroyed and burned in pit of fire that reaches up to seven feet high

WHEREAS: Muslims are generally afraid of homosexuals, particularly the radical ones which are the most dangerous of all

WHEREAS: According to the Holy Koran; "There is nothing a radical Muslim fears more than a Gay with a gun

WHEREAS: When terrorist leaders read that quote they exclaimed; "I hope the Americans don't read this..."

WHEREAS: The good people in the Middle-East are getting a bit tired of this war we have imposed on them with our technological superiority.

LET IT BE RESOLVED THAT: All combatant troops in the Middle-East be provided with Rainbow uniforms and patches signifying that they are homosexual and that they're ready for battle. Also, let it further be resolved that the Don't Ask Don't Tell Policy be effectively removed from the American military to encourage Gays and Lesbians alike to to join and fight.

The radical muslims in the region will be demoralized and will ultimately surrender, whereas the good people of the Middle-East won't know what's going on.

Also, after the creation of the homosexual state of Lesbonon, it is necessary that our Rainbow Warriors ally themeselves with the Lesbollah.

Victory will be ours quite soon.

Lesbonon: A Country Without A Man

Lebanon has fallen out of the media since their borders were penetrated by Israeli tanks and military operatives. This highly debated issue garnered much attention because people didn't understand why the Lebanese population was not in favor of such actions taken by the Israeli government. After all Lebanon is home to the radical group Hezbollah, a group thought to be so deadly that even the Israelis won’t mess with them. However, after recent events it is clear that Lebanon will be reappearing on every news network. Careful analysis and examination show that Lebanon and Hezbollah no longer pose a threat to the modern world and will be looked at as the world’s greatest culmination of Far-Leftist organizations.

According to Dr. Yo Mather, esteemed professor of socio-political analysis at the University of Georgia on December 11, 2009; “Lebanon’s growing population has become somewhat of surprise because the women are starting to outnumber the men. This was noticed in November when margin between men and women grew from a small 3% difference to 92%. Lebanon’s population now consists mostly of women.”

Yosef Ibrahim, one of the last Lebanese men, describes the odd occurrences in his homeland;
“I woke up one morning to find that my five boys were gone, nowhere to be found. I searched and I searched, and after much searching I realized that all of the men were gone! Only a few were left, and like me, they were searching for their boys too! We have no idea where the men are in our society! Even Hezbollah no longer has men filling its ranks. Now they fly a banner of rainbow AK-47’s shooting flowers…”

This also gave rise to the question of whether or not the country’s name should be changed to “Lesbonon” because homosexuality is now rampant in the once predominantly Muslim area. This also gave rise to the question of whether or not the once intimidating terrorist group Hezbollah (which translates to “Party of God”) should change its name to “Lesbollah” (which translates to “Women In Love”).

Further research is needed, but it is clear the Lesbonon will be a force to be reckoned with. And as for Lesbollah, governments in the region are not sure how to respond. Though, the Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad responded in outrage stating that; “I cannot believe I just wrote a check for $700,000,000 to a bunch of Infidels…”

The future is uncertain in the region, but one thing is certain; the Lesbonese will be the pioneers of the Middle-East.

Concerning The Stock Market

There's a lot of talk about the stock market. It goes up it goes down, it goes left and it goes right. But there's one glaring problem: it's ruining America. It is ruining the land of the Free, and the home of the Brave. Let it be known that the stock market is an Evil institution (yes an institution) that is out to kill all that is Good. And it is also known that Red China is on the verge of taking over the world.

People cry out; "However will we fix this problem?!" The answer, my fellow Brethren is to sell the Evil stock market to those blasted Communists on the Asian continent. There are many naysayers when it comes to this proposal, but it must be done.The plan would be to first sell the stock market to China for $50,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. The Chinese, being easily fooled, would "buy" into this idea, thinking that they would gain a stranglehold over America. But, the truth is we would have a stranglehold over them. Our stock market, volatile, and unpredictable, would destroy the Communists, making them crawl back to the United States like the weak-willed people they really are. When they do this, we will buy China with the very money they gave to us. Then we will systematically buy the rest of the world. Germany, Italy, Mongolia, Russia, and every other country.

Sell the God Forsaken institution.

The Rise of China?

Many people fear that the Red Chinese are on their way to replace the United States as the overlord of the free world. They have adopted "market socialism" as a cover for their communist, authoritarian economy where they sell their women for rice, their rights for opium, and lives for giant walls that keep out nonexistent mongols. China has become so powerful, that it has enslaved the United States' economy, put a leash on it, and has dragged it around flaunting it as its personal pet (and at times has beat it as illustrated by the current economic recession). In addition, the Chinese army has so many people that it is still able to effectively use human wave tactics in a nuclear age (think walls of people).



Even though they may have economic and military might, there is one thing that China lacks and which America dominates: Faith. The concentration of athiests within the country has created a secular, humanist Black Hole that sucks the souls out of all that step into that country (see above diagram)- one of the main reasons that Communism was so successful. All seen "conversions" to Christianity or other repectable faiths have been Communist propoganda in order to decieve the world into thinking China has any sense of morality or virtue. This has caused China to have weaker morale and divine rights than the United States. This is what will always make China subservient to the United States. Know these "facts", do you still think China will maybe one day overtake the United States? Or shall the United States forevermore be the leader of the Omniverse as we know it?

Call to Duty: Help Achieve Purity of Language

Hallo. Howz yu doeing? Speakingness and reader no fun when sprelling and grammaticalness monstrous and happen around homely earth here today.

Seeing that the language of American, also known as English, is the most prevalent language in the world, many countries have tried to adopt it to signify their acceptance of the United States as their overlord. However, by doing so they have succeeded in butchering English to the extent that rappers have butchered it (u git wat im sayin my fly, homedawg skillit yo. Say what?! Get low!). And just because they "no spreken ze Engrish more gooder" is no excuse for destroying the very foundation of the elite American culture that has consumed the world. In fact, American English is so elite, that we don't even allow the United States to make it its official language.

My Brethren, as Enlightened harbingers of purity, let us move to destroy all of those that seek to undermine the beauty of a language that God himself speaks (the Bible is in English, duh). Let us purge the world of things written in indecipherable formats (especially rap songs). Only then can we, as the Conclave, hope to achieve our mission from the Omniverse to lift the public out of ignorance and into the light. Please Brethren, post your suggestions and methods so we can once again achieve Purity of Language.

Healthcare: A Conservative's Plea For Justice

America has been betrayed. In the year 2009, the great United States of America has been stabbed in the back by an enemy on the inside. So many may ask; Who is this enemy? And where is he? The enemy resides on Capitol Hill. The Democrats want to promote this Health Care Bill, claiming it's in the interest of the American people...

But we know what it's really about. It's about control, and power over the Free World. They don't care about you or me, they only care about themselves. Personally, I hate the Health Care Bill because it is filled with wasteful spending plans.

Now, I haven't actually read the Health Care Bill, but I can assume that because the Democrats created it; it must be terrible. Though I did not actually read the bill, I did read the table of contents. Oh! What horrors I saw there! In section 157. titled: NON-DISCRIMINATION ON ABORTION AND RESPECT FOR RIGHTS OF CONSCIENCE, it is clear that this is the work of Satan.

Everyone knows the word Abortion is Evil, and if it appears in a piece of government legislation, especially legislation created by Democrats, it is pure Evil!

Those black-blooded Liberals want nothing more than to indoctrinate America with their filth and steal our precious children! Yes! Steal our children and consume them to feed their insatiable appetite for human flesh.

So, I call upon you courageous Conservatives and urge you to fight back! Fight against tyranny and injustice and these putrid scum that pollute our political system.

Also, I would like to point out how these Demons of the Dark Lord try to cover up their treachery; they incorporate fluffy words like "Respect" and "Rights", obviously trying to seduce you into joining them!

Do not join them. By any means. This is America. And I am an American.

America needs justice.

- Angry Conservative

Resolution to Ban Santa Claus

A RESOLUTION TO BAN SANTA CLAUSE FROM ALL HOUSEHOLDS IN THE WORLD

Whereas: Santa Claus has devalued the meaning of the holidays from spiritual gratification to a material gratification,

Whereas: Santa Claus “sees you when you’re sleeping, he knows when you’re awake” and “knows if you’ve been bad or good”, he stalks and creeps on minors by offering what they want for Christmas,

Whereas: Santa Claus “is making a list and checking twice”, Santa Clause arbitrarily judges people as unjustly and unfairly as a tyrant,

Whereas: Santa Claus discriminates by religion and ideology only giving presents to Christians and those who believe in him,

Whereas: Santa Claus therefore discriminates against all adults by not giving adults presents, forcing adults to buy presents for themselves,

Whereas: Santa Claus discriminates between children giving some children better, more expensive items than others,

Whereas: Due to the heavy air-traffic during the holidays, Santa’s sleigh and flying reindeer pose a danger and threat to commercial airplanes, endangering lives,

Whereas: There have been reports and complaints about roof and chimney damages occurring over the holidays,

Whereas: Santa Claus has been in clear violation of unlawful entry, trespassing on personal property without the formal consent of the owners,

Whereas: Santa Claus steals and eats food items left laying around the house or hung on a tree,

Whereas: Santa Claus employs the use of slave labor, enslaving the elves inflicted with a genetic disability for dwarfism

Whereas: For all we know, the living and working conditions of these elves could be worse than those seen in sweatshops around the world, seeing that their work station is located in the Arctic, a place with some the harshest weather and living conditions in the world.

Whereas: Santa Claus has been on the run for thousands of years and is in hiding all year round except for the evening of the 24^th day of December,

Whereas: Santa Claus has continually thwarted attempts by all people to see and/or capture him,

Be It Resolved: That Santa Claus be banned from all households in the world,

Be It Further Resolved: That Claus’s sweatshop and estate in the Arctic be found and taken over, the Elvin slaves be freed, and the estate be converted to something more useful, e.g. an oil digging site,

Be It Further Resolved: That Santa Claus be taken into custody and tried in the International Court of Justice for the crimes listed above and for crimes against humanity.

Confessions of a Congressman: A Practical Proposal

As an upstanding congressman in the Imperial Senate, I hereby propose that as a remedy for the current economic downturn and to add a little bit of spice to television entertainment that it be resolved: That Capital Punishment should be expanded upon and implemented in every state and territory under control by the United States of America.

WHEREAS: Capital Punishment is not the most popular topic in our country today and popular opinion needs to be swayed in favor of nationwide implementation.

WHEREAS: The United States steel industry is floundering and in need of a boost. And the American unemployment rate must be lowered from where it currently stands, increased steel plants to employ those in need of work.

WHEREAS: The Superbowl is the most viewed television event in the United States of America. More goods and products are consumed and used by consumers due to this national event

Let it be resolved that: On the day of Superbowl hold crucifixions of convicted felons on steel crosses, upside down on the 50 yard line. This will not only cause a dramatic rise in our economic stability, but it will also make executions much less expensive.

- Congressman of the Imperial Senate

Prostitution Add-On: Child's Perspective

Whoreses from a child's perspective:

Confessions Of a Congressman: Legalizing Prostitution

In today's world the United States of America holds a $12 trillion debt. Regardless of your political views or sexual orientation, it is clear that our economy needs a little fixing. A little stimulation so to speak. There are over 300 million people living in the United States; quite possibly America's most valuable resource. Let it be proposed here today that prostitution should be legalized in the United States and each exported prostitute should cost $140,000.

Man and Woman alike must be sold to fix our declining economy.

For too long have we sat silent and allowed such economic treachery to occur. But now we can save our economy with the exportation of prostitutes---or War Whoreses (Pronounced horses). These War Whoreses will pick us up out of the current economic slump and bring us back to the top. Where we belong. We must toss away our morals and our value; Prostitution will help, will revive our economy.

I would like to close with a passage from the Holy Bible: Leviticus 3-1-2:

"If it must be done, it must be done... Sell your clothes, sell your crop and cattle. And if it must be done sell your sons and daughters into unholy bondage for the rest of their natural lives."

God has clearly deemed it necessary to sell/export human beings into the sex trade.

It must be done.
But so we can retain some semblance of morality, Mahatma Gandhi states “the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” Enough said.